Creepshow Fiets

Did you ever see Creepshow? And the short in it called "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill" with Stephen King as the title character Jordy Verrill?

Well, see that movie once and that segment will stick with you.  Stephen King plays this hillbilly country bumpkin who sees a meteorite crash by his house.  He goes to check it out (as you would do), but then goes and takes that shit home, which you absolutely at all costs would NOT do (especially not after seeing this film).

To make a long story short, the meteorite starts to sprout this green moss that covers everything- the house, the yard, the porch- and Stephen King himself.  It is itchy and he can't get rid of it, until eventually he is covered nearly head to toe and can't move, so he shoots himself.

Boom.

Sorry for that spoiler (oops), but you should still watch it!  Here's a tiny glimpse of Stephen King playing the part of a country bumpkin....a role I don't think he had to stretch too far for, in my humblest of opinionated opinions. (And I know you agree with me.)

Getting to the point of this post, I saw this bike and of course immediately thought of that very same Creepshow segment, only in ORANGE.  Somewhere nearby Amsterdam, a meteorite slammed into the ground, and this fool of a lady picked that shit up, put it in her bike basket, and cycled that shit home.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T.

Oh yes.  Oh yes, she did.

I wanted to warn the bike owner NEVER TO TOUCH IT at all costs and especially NOT TO ADD WATER (because that makes it spread faster), but she wasn't around, so instead I took a photo with my camera and ran.

I wish her all the best, and will gladly lend her my shotgun if she needs it.

Clomp Fiets

Look!  It's a bird!  It's a plane!  No, it's a.....clog?

Yes, it is.  A clog fiets.

You-Can-Ring-My-Bell Fiets

Unbeknownst to me, while I stopped to take this photo, the bike owner was standing two feet away from me.

My ninja skills, they're not so stealthy lately.

Anyway, he told me that he actually had two more bells on the bike, but they had fallen off or were stolen.

So that leaves just a measley nine bells (including the fish) with which to blast through tourists who are walking on the bike lane.

Pppfff. As if that's going to move them. They just. don't. get it.

Small & Pointy Fiets

Not sure what it is, but it's compact and triangular. A comp-angular fiets.

Where's Waldo? Fiets

It's no wonder this green bike has been left here for ages. The owner probably locked it up and then couldn't find it again!

By the way, sorry for the long absence! But I'm back and keeping an eye out for funny fietses for you! I have also started a collaborative blog with my friend John about the Colours of Amsterdam, so go have a peek there too!

Amsterdamus Fietsicus

I had to be quick when taking this shot in Vondelpark last weekend. At first I wasn't quite sure what it was, but as it got closer I confirmed it.

The elusive Roman Gladiator Fiets.

E tu, Amsterdam?

Mardi Gras Fiets

I was tempted to flash my boobies at this bike in exchange for those beads, but I restrained myself.

Just barely.

And just check out that hot sticker action on the back pannier!

Wind Fiets

A bike with a sail.

Of course, Netherlands, OF COURSE!!!

Amazing Fiets!

Wow long absence! Sorry!

But I've still been keeping my eye out for bikes on the mean streets of Amsterdam (ggrrrrr)!

In the meantime, here is a photo from Finland that kicks ass:

Tell me that doesn't knock your socks off!!!!

The Hunt for Red Bicycle

Sure you think you've seen it all with Dutch bikes, but have you seen the SUBMARINE BIKE?

Or...the SUBMACYCLE?

SUBCYCLE?

Give me awhile I'll come up with a clever name for this:

Fantasy Fiets

Complete with man in the moon faces, a large toadstool with elves, and puffy clouds.

Inexplicable Fiets

Can't quite explain it (is it foldable/collapsable?) but I like it! I did take a mental note of the brand of the bike, and then promptly forgot it. It started with an S and was something like sprinta, stina, etc.

Wilde-fiets

Raarrrrrr.

Not Really a Bike but....Different....with Wheels

This was a piece of installation art by Eric Staller on the Spui for Boeken Nacht (Night of Books) last night. He calls them 'Urban UFOs'. How wonderful! Have a browse around his site, it's full of great works of art!

I love his LightMobile. Hard not to smile at this:

And look! I also found this on his site, although I haven't yet seen it in person. But it is appropriate for this site. The LOVE BIKE!

Adult Tricycle

My very first post!

This guy rode past me today on the Damrak and luckily pulled over a few meters past. I waited until he got off of his mobile phone and then asked him if I could take a photo of his bike- an adult-sized tricycle actually.

I would so rock this bike around town if I knew where to find one!